Don’t Feed the Beagle is a labor of love self-amusement buy a character who shall only be referred to as “The Chef.” He lives in DC with his wife and very silly beagle, who loves food so much that he can barely stop himself from arping with abandon.
This project exists purely as an excuse to do something with all the photos.
FAQ
Or, what I imagine would be frequently asked if people asked questions frequently.
Why do only some entries have full recipes?
Out of respect to the enormous amount of work that goes into cookbooks and blogs, I’ll be sticking to the same protocol as Eat Your Books:
- I’ll share recipes in full if:
- I’ve made them up
- They’re an old family recipe
- They’re effectively open source. (Nobody owns the idea of bruschetta.)
- My version has so many changes and influences that it’s unrecognizable from the original influences.
- For everything with a distinct author, I’ll list the ingredients and where to find the rest.
I’m confused by the lack of spice measurements.
Oh yeah that’s because I don’t measure spices. Taste it.
Look, if you want professionalism, buy a cookbook. I have suggestions!
That poor dog looks like he’s starving. Did you feed him?
Yes. I see you’ve never met a beagle before.
Can the beagle lick my plate?
No! That’s how he got fat and it took a very long time to get back to a vet-approved weight.
Can I guest write something?
Yeah that would be fun! Email me. Pet photos are strongly encouraged.
Something something cultural appropriation grr how dare you!
Okay, so, here’s the thing: cooking is memetic. It gets passed around and reshuffled to the means and constraints available to you.
We’re going to keep doing that.
Is any of this authentic?
I’m not sure. “Authentic” means “this is how much grandmother made it” and my grandmother was a terrible cook. Seriously, the food safety was so bad that 3 people died after eating at her house.
Disclaimer: My brother would like to point out that correlation is not causation, and the alleged victims or culinary malpractice were rather old and suffered from serious metabolic diseases. He’s wrong.
So I guess my answer is: you tell me? If you grew up with this and want to send me your version, look, I’m only building this site for fun.
Is any of this healthy?
I’ve done full nutritional breakdowns for a bunch of my recipes and have been pleasantly surprised how reasonable most of it is.*
As a rule, carryout uses so much butter, and hyperprocessed food leans heavily on sugar and oil for shelf stability, so in effect, almost anything you cook or bake at home is going to have a “better” profile.
By the way, the new hyperprocessed food research is fascinating. For the most entertaining dive into this I’d recommend the podcast A Very Thorough Examination.
Have you watched The Bear?
Yes, Chef!